Thursday, April 7, 2011

Talked to Craig this morning, he said they finally decided to give dad some Ativan last night since he was restless and waking up with every little sound. They had to give it to him in a liquid form which makes me think he's incapable of swallowing pills at this point. He said dad finally settled down and was sleeping soundly.

The nursing staff at the PHH have been, for the most part, fabulous. They are very nice, and very accommodating to all the visitors and family. Every night they offer up the Quiet Room (a small living room type area) to Becky, Craig and Doug so that they can take turns sleeping. Becky said they even make food for the family if anyone is hungry and not wanting to leave. 

That being said, Craig was not very happy with the nurse on staff last night. Not only did she refuse to let them use the quiet room so she could do her paperwork in there (there are at least 4 other desks/tables/rooms), but she was not very gentle or even very polite, was rougher with dad than she needed to be and quite condescending to Craig. He said when she would deal with dad she was a bit too forceful and he was obviously very agitated and upset at her movements. Craig had to continually stop her and ask her to be more gentle and patient with him. 

We have all been treating dad with the respect and dignity that he deserves. He is still a human being and is still capable of having emotions even though he can't voice them at this point. We don't treat him like a child, make him do anything he doesn't want to do, and we talk to him the same as we always have. We are willing to let him go when he's ready, but we are not going to try to hurry up the process by drugging him and refusing to let him get out of bed. 

The nurse last night was not one of the normal nursing staff and won't be back, but Craig was going to speak to the nursing manager to let her know of his disapproval of her actions. After writing this, I want to find her and kick her ass. 

If you are one of the lucky ones who are able to visit with dad, please don't let anything like this happen again. Feel free to step in and stop them from treating him with anything other than soft hands and soft voices.

UDPATE:
Got a call from Craig at noon saying that the Dr. was in to see dad and said that it was time for the family to come to say goodbye. I arrived there in short order to join the boys and Becky at dad's side. He had not been conscious since earlier in the morning and couldn't be woken up by Becky or the Dr. They checked his pulse and it was slowing and his breathing was getting shallower. We sat with him, said our goodbye's and met with dozens of his friends who heard the news and came to see him one last time.

At around 4:40 p.m., Craig and Doug heard him take a deep breath, squeeze his eyes shut, exhale, and relax. That was it. His heart stopped seconds later and he was gone.

About an hour later we noticed that his face had relaxed quite a bit, he looked more at peace, and his mouth had closed and was turned up in the corners into a little smile. He looked better than he had in awhile and it was very comforting to finally see him looking so peaceful.