Thursday, March 24, 2011

Cat scan results at the ER showed no problems, his blood counts were low, but not low enough for any transfusions. He's home now, but Craig talked to Dr. Martin's nurse and got his admit day moved up to today at UCSF. He still won't go today since they probably won't have a bed until Sunday.

Craig has been monitoring his dilaudid intake, which dad is not happy about, but they think he was getting too much since every time he wakes up, that's what he asks for. We're hoping that by giving him a smaller amount on a more regular basis, he'll do better.

He's fairly stable on his feet, and his verbal skills are a bit better, but it's obvious that something is wrong. He'll get blood work done again tomorrow morning, and I'm sure he'll need blood and platelets.

UPDATE:
UCSF called and they have a bed available today. Craig and Doug will be driving dad down this afternoon. Becky will head down this evening after she gets home and packs some stuff for the hospital. I'll be heading up to his house to say goodbye before he leaves today. I'll also try to get down to UCSF this weekend. Hopefully I'll get an update from Craig and Doug this evening as to why he's deteriorating so rapidly.

UPDATE:
Dad and the boys left for UCSF today at 4:30. He probably won't even get to his room until 10 p.m. or later. I saw him for a couple of hours today and he's not doing well. He's very weak, needs help to walk and get dressed, forgets what he's doing, and doesn't make much sense when you talk to him. He'll have a moment of clarity, and start saying or walking somewhere, then forget what he was doing. 


When we got him ready to go, we started heading towards the front door, and he turned to go back down the hall toward the bedrooms. We asked him what he was doing, and we needed to leave, and he paused, and softly said, "One more time." He then headed into the master bedroom, looked around, and then must have forgot why he was there, cause he started to take off his jacket and shoes. We had to remind him again where he was going and he just hung his head down, and said, "oh".


We got him out to the car and he looked at me and asked me where I was going, and I told him I was going home and the boys were taking him to UCSF. He gave me a hug and a kiss and told me he loved me, then got in the car to leave. I think he knew that might be the last time I see him. He just doesn't have enough energy or the attention span to say more.


The dad I saw today is not my dad. MY dad can put on his own jacket and shoes. MY dad can walk to the bathroom by himself. MY dad could eat more than 2 bites of food at a time. MY dad could always finish a sentence AND a long, drawn out story. MY dad was the strongest man I knew. MY dad would have told me how sad he would be to leave us all behind and he would tell us all how much he loves us. The guy I saw today was not MY dad. MY dad is gone. And I miss him so much already.