Got Dad on my mind. . .

That's interesting, Craig, because I've had so many dad dream visits lately, too.  Like you, I always know that he is gone and that what I'm seeing is his ghost/spirit.  He is always calm and happy and shows me that genuine, sparkly smile when I hug him.  I don't know what's got him in my mind lately, but it's been several weeks now.

Candy, I really really enjoyed reading what has been on your mind about my dad.  I'm glad you made yourself share.  I have loved hearing from siblings about our dad, but it's extra fun to hear from people outside our house.  He was different with you guys, and in some ways it seems you got the best he had to offer.  For all his scariness there was such a compassionate side, too.  It's great to hear about it.

I am still not quite willing to accept this travesty, by the way.  I have a very difficult time speaking of him in the past tense.  It isn't right.  I maintain that this got botched along the way and I would like to kick the universe square in the balls for it.  My head tells me all the right things-- all about realism and eternity and acceptance, but my heart just won't get there.

~Wendy